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Growing up I had so much to overcome, so I operated on anger to drive myself.
It worked, but as I got older, I found that the anger drive was too hard on me and everyone around me and I had to give it up and learn to operate without anger.
Some counseling was helpful, but they never told me that anger is the primary emotion that gives rise to all the other negative emotions.
I had to learn that from Recovery, Inc and the old book they use: “Mental Health thru will Training” written back in 1937 by a doctor who wanted to teach people a simple way to have a healthy mental attitude. The basic idea is, when you feel anger, you recognize it and work it down, cool it off, relax, and endorse and feel good about yourself for remaining in control, rather than letting the anger run and spiral you out of control – a condition where anybody can pull your chain and see you overreact.
That is part of it. Another part is you learn not to process negative thoughts – Simply, if the thought bothers you, change the thought. Change it to something pleasant or productive. You are in control of your thinking, not your free-running sub-conscious mind, which has a rating system. When you entertain certain kinds of thoughts for longer times, it gives these kinds of thoughts a higher rating.
If you waste your time thinking and processing negative thoughts, your sub-conscious will automatically give you more similar kinds of thoughts. That’s how people go crazy.
So, be careful of what you let your mind think. You are what you think. Better you should think thoughts that are like what you want to become. Now you are in control and using your powerful mind in a positive way to create the better you that you want to be. It really is that simple and your life can be good as you want it to be.
But usually counselors won’t tell you this. They usually have the method that they are taught to follow. Let the patient talk about his problems until he realizes that maybe he could think better thoughts and then he may be able to become a better person. Maybe they call it “self discovery”. But it can be a long, costly, painfully slow and drawn-out process. (Some say a big waste of time.)